This Week Imposter Syndrome Came For Me
Hi guys,
I’ve come again.
To be honest as I write I have no idea what’s about to come out because this week has worn me out. It should be Friday by the time you’re reading this so wherever you are, happy weekend from all the way over here. You survived another one.
Back to what I was saying, there’s so much going on in my head right now so whatever you see please take it like that. Manage it for today.
Since last weekend, imposter syndrome and I have been in a brawl and it doesn’t seem like either of us is winning but I’m getting tired. You know how you can be standing one minute and be saying “well, there’s hope.” then suddenly it feels like the rug was pulled from underneath your feet? That happened to me.
Remember how almost two weeks ago I released my debut single “Go Son”? The goal was to encourage others to keep going even through the toughest of times knowing that God is on their side. Little did I know I’d be needing the encouragement I was so prepared to give others.
As I write to you now, I write from a concoction of emotions. I’ve gone up, like when I was going through some of Rytpath’s videos and seeing the things I’ve been able to be part of building and accomplishing in the past 5 years. I’ve also dipped, like when I sitdown and think about whether it’s possible to get from where I currently am to where I intend to be and if the journey is actually worth it. It’s like I’m right in the middle of the storm and it doesn’t feel like the “Peace be still" kind. It feels more like the “I will crash but God will spare my life" kind. (Go and read your Bible, you’ll get the reference)
I’ve been feeling and seeing the Holy Spirit’s work though, because if not for Him, I’d have given up already. He has been reassuring me that I’m not alone, teaching and strengthening me. That’s how I know that in the end I will win. The Bible tells us that God never gives us more than we can bear and out of His faithfulness, He provides a means of escape.
What’s the point of today’s ramblings?
I’m reminding you (in case you feel this way too) and I’m reminding myself that God’s faithfulness goes beyond the boundaries of pleasant circumstances and that even in the midst of self doubt, one sure thing is that His love endures and His promises are true.
Have a lovely weekend.
